Fool again

i am going to sleep in about 15 mins time.i have not slept for the last 24 hours.This is the second time this week i am having an overnight affair.just waiting for my hair to dry first.

Right now i am sitting in my room, watching the sun rising up slowly.I was thinking about life when i was on my way back.I mean i KO in the train but while walking back, i calculated the "cost" and i realised that I am getting further and further from my dream.

Perhaps I have went through some tough time, i have in a way "shut down" unknowingly.Before you think i am some emo freak, i can tell u i am not.I know what is real and i am ready to face it.I have develop some bad habits which i hope i can change.

One of the worst habits i have formed is that i no longer trust people that easily.Perhaps i am sick of the heartache,like the song , i am fool once too many.LOL.I have keep a distance even from my closest friend.I don't think i have a best friend on earth.Alot of personality test have said that my best friend will be that of my spouse.I guess that is as close as i allow someone to get near to.I need to gain trust again.Many people may see me laugh and joke in the crowd, but honestly, how many people can say they know me well?


The good thing about life is that there is alway God.God will turn it around for me.Fasting really does wonder.Not only i have flat-ter tummy, i have learn to control my fleshy nature better.


We haven't spoke for sometime.Perhaps it is because i don't want to do anything wrong or have anything bad happen to any of us.Maybe it is not the time, i can only pray.


Time to hit the bed.It is beckoning out for me!