Prayerful

Been praying and asking God for the reason...i am really on my wit's end! Thinking back, i really have to learn from this mistake.I shall not try to help anyone without much thought and end up in something like that ever again.. To put it plainly, i got absolutely nothing to gain out of it! i spend my time and my effort..doing the best my principles allow me to.I am not trying to say i did not made any mistakes, which by going into something like that is already a mistake.To have people come and msg stuff questioning your character and stuff when you want to have absolutely nothing to do with them takes lots and lots of patient.

On the inside of me, i really want to let loose and let it go.But i shall not let my emotions rule my head, i want to maintain my coolness of head.Like what people have advise me, try to let him cool and not to do anything about it. If he wants to drag it on, all you can do is smile and say what you have been saying since day one.I regretted not heeding some advice i heard beforehand and now i am in it and i can understand why.


I guess on my part, i just stay cool unless it gets really out of hand. Everyone needs time to cool off especially when one is emotional affected. So, stop and think before you do certain things again.Look at who is the one who started the finger pointing.Self - reflection is absolutely important. Speak to leaders who can give you a fair point of view. Keep your view point open. Mostly importantly, is this what would God do? what would Jesus do?

on my part, i just want to get the whole bad experience off me.


Please let it go.

Birthday/Reservice

Just came back from my cousin's son first month birthday.The baby is really cute. Haha..it is simply amazing to have a baby and become a father. Looking at the small thing wriggle in his arms brings a smile to my face , yet at the same time, i was reminded of the "horror" this one thing can bring...haha...


went for driving today and it was pretty bad..i guess there is alot of things for me to catch up on..been rather slack..perhaps i am tired..so can't really focus on what the instructor is telling me.But i kinda woke up and everything ended well. He even asked me to do s curve turning...cos he feels that i am good enough although it is one of the latest subject...haha...



tml is the day i will be away for 2 weeks.Going for my annual reservice! i guess it is a good time for me to take a break, reflect whatever have happened and move on from there.I learnt alot more stuff this few weeks and understand alot more things about my friends.


It is never easy to give up a relationship. At least to me, it is something hard. Miscommunications do happen and mistakes do occur, what matter most is the trust for one and another and the faith that each party have for one another.If there is no trust in a person , the person is no better than a stranger. Because like a stranger, his words no longer matter and it is contradictory to call that someone a friend.




i am looking forward for my reservice.Time to meet up with some old friends and chit chat.


till then,




see ya!

tired

i don noe why..i am so tired today...feel like sleeping the moment i reached home.

perhaps i was cycling half the day. moving around the yard to slack since it is the last day before i go for my ICT.


btw i was promoted to a SRM with orange tag around my helmet. with it come power man, all the bangla see me will have the stunt look on their face.if not they will quickly put on their PPE and pretend to do some work, others will signal to other workers and let them know got SRM coming. even when i cycle, they will greet me sia! haha.

but , with greater power , come greater responsibility. if a group of ppl are doing something wrong, they will identify the guy with orange tape on his helmet and he will take full responsibility.


working in shipyard sometimes become alittle like army.just that if you become a SRM, you become a senior officer..like captain and above. very few ppl can come and tekan you. but you have alot of responsibilities and alot of stress.but well i might not stay if there is a better offer else where.



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Today P and W was pretty good. even thought i was doing the song sheet projection, i still teared and feel the presence of God so strongly! i was reminded of the verse,

Be still, and know that I am God”

Psalm 46:10


Before we can even talk about prospering, enjoying the promises of God, we need to first know who God is and have a personal relationship with Him.The word is "know", not see, hear or think. To know means you know Him as a person, friend, father, comfortor, provider, victory, etc...majority of the time, people are not having the breakthrough in their lives is due to the fact that they do not know God personally. Ask anyone to list the promises of God and anyone can simply name you a few. Ask them to tell you how God is like , and not many can give u an answer.i guess this apply to me too, i need to have an even deeper relationship with Him.


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My friend just told me he is getting married! omg..what am i doing?! HAHA...i feel happy for him. Told me he propose and the girl agreed on the spot!


guess wedding bells are ringing soon!

feeeling kinda tired...jus came back from the lifting and installation of the crane column...the sun is sooo hot....feels good to be in an air-con room now.

Jesus, I'll never let you go.

Deh Only love da..

2am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me

But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That's something only love can do

In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough
If we learn to trust

But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That's something only love can do

I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye

But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That's something only love can do

That's something only love can do



Old song...but same sentiment when i listen to it again.

Work has been tiring..been busy with driving..and reservice is next week! i will be away for this "adventure" for 2 weeks! Don't really know to feel happy or sad.I am being to speak up during meetings! somehow i feel i am finally contributing in a meeting...HAHA...

life is hard in shipyard..i think i will be away from my family most of the time.And i got a feeling if i stay there for long...my life will evolved around banglas only...now my opening sentence often start with...

"deh, where da the drawing?"

"deh, can i check wif you"

"deh, Goggles pls..wear dah"

"deh, come over here...where is da pipe line"

"deh, how come de drawing wrong here wrong there da?"

"deh, don try try smoke me da"




deh i am feeling so tired da i wanna go sleep duh.LOL.


Hope you have a safe journey!

Imperfection

I will not try to be perfect.

I will try to less imperfect.

Love me for a reason, let the reason be love.

last 50 things

i am sure somewhere and somehow you must have come across this question...


seriously


if you have 50 things to do before you die, what will you do?

i was reminded of this question and i sat down and seriously thought about it...


i think i will spend more time with my family...that's for sure..to give my parents my money to go for a holiday..my sis money to go shopping...


i think next will be my friends...those whom i don have a chance to contact...and tell them how much they meant to me even thought we hardly contact..

i will of cos meet up with my current friends...go to where they alway wanted me to go with them and have a good time with them...i will definitely not tell them i am going to die...



then i will meet my closer friends and give them something to rem about our friendship...so in case they think of me, they can look back and rem the good time we had...



i will call up my ex gf and tell them how sorry i was and how much they meant to me in the past....


after which i think i will hit around close to 50 items....



the last thing i will do....








mmm...

God is the strength of my heart

WHOM HAVE I IN HEAVEN BUT YOU
THERE IS NOTHING ON EARTH I DESIRE BESIDE YOU
MY HEART AND MY STRENGTH
MANY TIMES THEY FAIL
BUT THERE IS ONE TRUTH THAT ALWAYS WILL PREVAIL

GOD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY HEART
GOD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY HEART
GOD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY HEART
AND MY PORTION FOREVER
FOREVER


God is the strength of my heart

:)

Pain...so painful..ARGH

Today something bad happened..

i went for a jog with my cousin.We did a 3km or so run.The thing is that he is super fit and alway achieve Gold timing.I tried running after him but couldn't really catch up.oh man he is really fast!


then we went to play basketball.Bad move..especially when you are too old.

.
.
.
.
.
.
i jumped up..stretch my right hand high into the air..pull down the rebound and slap it hard with my left palm...then

i felt it...so strongly...







soooooo strongly..










for a moment..both my legs CRAMPED!


in my mind i was thinking..."Oh jialat"


and i landed with my legs curved up and i end up spraining my left ankle...


but the most embarrasing thing is...i was screaming in pain...then all the players stop and ran over..thinking i broke my leg or something..




i ended up limping back home....

argh...so painful.

It was intended for a purpose

I was holding the camera and anxiously looking around....

i checked my watch...it was 1.20PM...how come there is no sight of her??


i look around and peeped till the last girl on the queue..she is not there!

i turned around me and i saw 2 other lost faces...in our mind we were thinking, what is happened? how come she is not around...





i pace forward and backward..thinking of a logical reason...and the two other with me were also wondering in their mind.. what is happening?



we started to get worried...then...



she dashed in and had a super worried face...she was late!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
In the end, the best din win but that does not mean she is not the best.just that the best was not allowed to win.


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last night i had a most horrific dream.

i was crying buckets when i woke up.

I dreamt that one of my friend died and i was so heart-broken by the loss of a friend.i couldn't explain why i am so sad.i just kept on crying.inside my dream, some friends tried to console me but i kept on crying...jus kept on..and on and on..


when i woke up, i realised that i really did cried...my pillow was wet! what a weird dream!


but today i kinda lost something..perhaps it was intended for a purpose...



like u feel so near and yet so far.
inside of you, u kinda guess u are trying but u wouldn't get it
but God still wants you to walk down the road, to tell you how u should trend the path
like the best, it seems like u did all these for nothing..

but it is because you walk down the road and u survived, u know how to handle it when such things come along again...



it was intended for a purpose

Outing

Life is really busy for this few weeks and weeks to come.Be busy with cg outing, driving and some catch up.I am sorry about some of the outing i can't make it, feeling really stretched. I will try to catch with u(Liptong, iceman_jq etc..) asap.Cos i am chionging my driving, so my days are packed most of the time.Like next week, i will be going for my reservice and i have 3 driving lesson. After my reservice, i am going to have 3 to 4 a week to speed things up.Really hope to get my license asap and start driving!


yesterday went out to chill with a friend.It is really nice to relax in a while and do some catching up.Because of the busyness of life, it might not be feastible to meet up often so it is really up to this small meet up that help build stronger bonds.I alway believe action speaks louder than words and it is impt to meet up once in a while if possible.

some nice pic.




anyway we had a pretty good dinner and a nice fellowship at starbucks.Personally i like simple stuff, just chill and relac most of the time.



I just want to see you smile.

Awesome meeting

Today meeting on leadership is AWESOME! I feel so blessed.haha..

kinda tired.shall blog abt the world biggest exhaust pipe tml..

can't wait for tml!

Gently, Lovingly, Tenderly and Softly

Gently, Lovingly, Tenderly and Softly

This is how i need to speak to you.I am too direct at times and i am too stubborn at times. I get carried away by what i strongly believe in and i don't take in what others got to say. I was reminded again yesterday while praying and today something along this line happened.Though i apologised, but it goes to show nothing have change.I need to tell myself to smile, don't use words like confirm, very sure, Never or Cannot be but instead replace them with i think , from what i personally feel, i might be wrong but i feel, from my interpretation.

Pls Pardon me if i made the same mistake.Just remind me i am being too direct, i will take a step back and smile and say either of these i think , from what i personally feel, i might be wrong but i feel, from my interpretation.


I really need to change :)

I really feel strongly i need to.. :)

Simpsonize me

HAHA

Work

Updates on my work!


This is me when i am going to board the ship.I will be equipped with
1)coverall- to keep myself clean
2)helmet- to save my head and it did many times.
3)safety boots- able to withstand 1T of weight.
4)safety goggle- to keep dusty , debris from entering my eyes.
5)ear plug- the noise level on board a ship is super high! worse than airplane flying, so u need to wear them to protect ur ears
6)gloves- to keep ur hand cleans and against rusty or sharp objects
7)safety harness- to secure yourself when u go up to scafolds or platform
8)torch light- let there be light and there will be.
9)Id tag- to know how many ppl are on board or in confined place
10)face mask- to protect my lungs in places with heavy welding or cutting.

what an average scenery will look like in my shipyard


the ship my project is tasked to convert


other ships


100T crane.



more and more different form of cranes


some oil tankers of sort next to my ship


The peak! me on top of the 50T crane which is to be installed.nice to see the end product after fixing it up from pieces


Top of the world!


The seahorse crane..one that floats on water..


the telescopic gangway..a thing for u to walk


the helideck..it is under assembly and in top down position


The SPA room.


HAHA..actually it is not, they are doing hyro blasting to clean up the place.It is LOUD!


Time really move so fast and i am heading to my 6th week on intern.It is really a good experience so far.Learning so much and meeting so many different ppl at work.So far what i haveposted are the site works, i did alot of paper work too.Mostly time planning and learning all the paper work to manage a project.Unlike most of my friends who don have much to do at their internship company, i kept pressing my mentor to let me do more. Hopefully i can learn as much as i can!

Jesus , lover of my soul

JESUS, LOVER OF MY SOUL
JESUS, I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO
YOU'VE TAKEN ME FROM THE MIRY CLAY
SET MY FEET UPON THE ROCK
AND NOW I KNOW

I LOVE YOU, I NEED YOU
THOUGH MY WORLD MAY FALL
I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO
MY SAVIOR, MY CLOSEST FRIEND
I WILL WORSHIP YOU UNTIL THE VERY END

Today we sang this worship song and i really like it alot...kinda different from the rest.Lead games and it was pretty good.Had a few new friends and some of them are coming for service tml.In short, everything went well, the atmoshpere was good and the msg was good.PTL.



time to get out of it
once and forever
time to end it all
once and for all

words can't describe
nor voice can sound
what happened in the past

But Jesus know
my saviour
my closest friend
i'll love you till the very end.

dead tired

after sleeping for abt 4 hrs every night for the last 3 nights, i feel so tired..dead tired...i wish i can jus collapse and sleep on my bed...so tired...how nice if there is someone to massage my tired muscles and someone to feed me nice marshmallow or grape...with two pretty ladies fanning me...oh my..that would be nice..hahha...


they say time heal all wounds...all?

Driving

just came back from my first lesson of driving in SSDC.It is simply amazing.The instructors are so much better at teaching and they really showed me alot of stuff.i can't wait for the next lesson!

Holy Dissatisfaction!

Truths about life

Somethings in life NEVER change.NEVER

An example? how do u change sex? it is not possible to be transformed 100% into another gender.

Somethings in life will NEVER be the same.NEVER

An example? You can never get the same arm back if you lose it in an accident.

I am the worst friend one could ever get.

i am the worst friend one could ever get man...that is true..to a certain extent...i reflected upon it and listed some pts which makes me the possible candidate for one of the worst friend you could get.

1)I like to stick to my sleeping time.
I totally suck at outing because i am alway worried abt last train and going home early.Like sometimes when my friends wanna stay late or jio me out for late night activities, i alway say no.Like overnight DOTA, Midnight show(sometimes i go because i like movies) or come out chit chat. i guess i just don wanna take CAB and waste money or sleep late and wake up early to go work.

2)i am too direct
i am so direct sometimes i can make u cry and feel hurt! i am really trying to change this. when i think abt it, what i need to do is to get the message across and being direct is the fastest way but might not be the best way.this area i really need to do some fine tunning.

3)i don like big group outing.
sometimes alot of ppl will jio me out and ask me go join them but i will turn them down because when the group gets too big i feel that it gets hard to fellowship.i prefer smaller group unless NUS PEEPS have a meeting or outing or something.


i guess there is still alot of areas i need to change and i really want to improve and be a better friend.







anyway i went for a meeting with Robb Thompson a few hrs ago and it is simple awesome! heard next tue there might have another Pst coming.I can't wait!


Guys just want to be respected by girls
Girls just want to be loved by guys.

sick

oh man, today i cough out blood for the first time in my life.This is bad.Initially i thought it was from my gum but i realised that it is from my throat after rinsing my mouth a few times and checking the mirror.i think it is no joke. i guess if tml i wake up and it is not ok, i shall take an mc and not go work.

After many days of consideration , i decided since i am not going to get a pay rise and i just bought my hp for 6 months, i am not going to get N95.i guess i should stick to my policy of not spending more than $150 for a new hp.furthermore iphone is coming out and there are some really nice phones from other brand like HTC and O2.

today just entrolled into SSDC and it is ex. 100 plus for entrollment and 80 for a lesson.really hope it is good.so far the only good thing i heard that private is better than sch is only the cost. sch although cost more, but it is 2hr per lesson instead of 1 and a half. It has a well planned guide and also higher chance of passing.not to mention that it is also much faster than private.

a quiz i heard during my sec sch days.

Quiz of the day.(from Da mei nu blog)
3 MEN GO INTO A MOTEL. THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK SAID THE RO OM IS $30, SO
EACH MAN PAID $10 AND WENT TO THE ROOM.

A WHILE LATER THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK REALIZED THE ROOM WAS ONLY $25, SO
HE SENT THE BELLBOY TO THE 3 GUYS' ROOM WITH $5.

ON THE WAY, THE BELLB OY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPLIT $5 EVENLY
BETWEEN 3 MEN, SO HE GAVE EACH MAN A $1 AND KEPT THE OTHER $2 FOR
HIMSELF.

THIS MEANT THAT THE 3 MEN EACH PAID $9 FOR THE ROOM, WHICH IS A TOTAL OF
$27, ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29.

WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?

Emerge!

This year is abit different from last two years.

At around this time for the last two years, we will be having our emerge conference!


oh man, i really miss the time.The bonding we formed among the NUS peeps, the events we have.Personally for me i will be involved in most of the sports events like captain's ball, basketball, soccer and not forgetting POS, winning eleven and preaching challenge.

i particularly rem last year POS.it was really unforgettable.Because alot of ppl have committments like SOT and work, things couldn't really work out well and there was tremendous stress among all the ppl.Not forgetting ppl like me and a few who are not working, we were really broke and we got to share meals if not we will fast.The trainings are pretty tough too! i rem during one of the practise, our lightest flyer siying "elbow dropped" my face! and her elbow smash through my specs and broke my len into half! Thank God,i was not disfigured or blinded but suffered a small cut to my eyes.Thru last year emerge i also made alot of new friends like Kenneth(BTW today is kenneth bday! HAPPY BDAY BRO!) , qingfeng ,Ezekiel and many more. Of cos stronger bonding between the older friends like changhan yuantai etc..


hopefully i get a chance to join during my last year after i graduate.emerge is really life changing!

sometimes when we touch

woke up with fever and sorethroat...argh..i had not fell sick for a long long time...and there is so much to do today.going to book driving, going to have BS , going service then got NUS meeting.

God i need your strength!

I worship you

WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR HOLINESS
WHEN I GAZE INTO YOUR LOVELINESS
WHEN ALL THINGS THAT SURROUNDS ME
BECOME SHADOWS IN THE LIGHT OF YOU

WHEN I'VE FOUND THE JOY
OF REACHING YOUR HEART
WHEN MY WILL BECOMES ENTHRONE IN YOUR LOVE
WHEN ALL THINGS THAT SURROUNDS ME
BECOME SHADOWS IN THE LIGHT OF YOU

I WORSHIP YOU, I WORSHIP YOU
THE REASON I LIVE
IS TO WORSHIP YOU

Today cg was really good. We sang this really old song and the presence of God was really strong..we had a really interesting game called " i have faith , i have hope and i have love!" haha...confusing but interesting..


i am feeling pretty sick.must be the sun and heat. i am having a fever and a sore throat...really bad sore throat..must pray for healing! do pray for me!


today a bangla worker fingers were crushed.He was trying to hold onto a steel plate when it slip from a trailer! Everything in shipyard goes by ton( 10^3 kg) so u can imagine what happened.And it is an engine cooler plate and if you study thermodynamic, you realised that the edge of such plates are very very sharp.3 of his fingers were crushed and it seems like he is going to be disabled.

life in shipyard is tough and dangerous for those normal workers. For SRM or PM like us, we are pretty safe except that we need to work long hrs. Although bonuses are high( 9 months for last year) , alot of ppl can't tahan the high workload and fast pace life. you must like what you do , to do well there.


Be contented.

My love

An empty street
An empty house
A hole inside my heart
I'm all alone and the rooms are getting smaller

I wonder how, I wonder why
I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together
And oh my love
I'm holding on forever
Reaching for a love that seem so far


So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue
To see you once again, my love
Overseas from coast to coast
To find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green
To see you once again, my love

I try to read
I go to work
I'm laughing with my friends
But I can't stop to keep myself from thinking

I wonder how, I wonder why
I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together
And oh my love
I'm holding on forever
Reaching for a love that seem so far



To hold you in my arms
To promise you my love
To tell you from the heart
You're all I'm thinking of

I'm reaching for a love seem so far

working smart

today is one happening day.

i almost got knock down by a car today. i mean i was trying to ride my bicycle to my ship from my office but my skill is not really there yet. so i wobble here and there as the road is really uneven. It was pretty dangerous as we are sharing lanes with cars and lorries and trucks too.A few person saw me and shouted to me" eh u ok?? your bike ok or not?" LOL. They thought it is my bike that has some fault or something.So, wanting to look good, i give them a thumb up and pt to my bicycle and gave a thumb down LOL


Normally for attachment, Students don't really have much to do.I was pretty upset that i got nothing to do that i approach my Project Manager and tell her i don wanna sit inside the office and do nothing.Therefore i was tasked to do something new starting tml...i might extended my internship as i am learning alot of stuff!! Really thank God man, my friends are like complaining they are doing shit work everyday like liquid paper document, do notice board. I am glad i am more vocal and i am task to do things a regular Assistant project manager or project engineer will do.



Other than work and driving lessons, i am embarking something to prepare for the next stage of life. it is kinda boring and i really need the drive to keep doing until i see the results.Give me patience o Lord!



70

Driven for Driving

wa...STRESS AH!!!!!!! i just came back from driving and it is sooo stressful! I think i might kill someone in future!! Seriously speaking, i don't know it is because i am lousy or my instructor is lousy.Whenever i get on main road, i don't really know what to do and what to look out for...he will just say" slow down" or "clutch in". my starting off sucks and he kept scolding me...and after many many tries, then i caught him saying what i need to do?! and slowly i got it...maybe it is the chinese language he used and he is alway tired after many hours of teaching, wonder if he really got observe how i drive...argh! Anyone got learn from sch? any advice? perhaps sch instructor will tell u what to do and learn from there? got a feeling my basics are not good...STRESS ARGHHHHHHH........


Work ,on the otherhand, has been awesome, met up with alot of experience people when we assemble the 50T crane.There is 2 engineers who just came from Austria and turkey to help assemble the crane. Met up with a few people from the owner company who work in alot of shipyard before like keppel and sembcorp. Got alot of insight into the industry and i am glad that i got the scholarship.Can't wait to start work after i graduate. I realised alot of things i learn in sch is pretty useless..lol..

Bottle tree village

Feeling pretty tired from all the administrative work that i did today.As usual, i guess i am going for a jog to clear my stress.Work is getting busier and sometimes i really wish that i could just go find a place and sleep during lunch.

Anyway yesterday my family went to this lovely place near sembawang beach to have dinner.It is a pretty cosy place as it is located near the beach.You can sit by the beach and listen to waves and enjoy every moment of it.After which you might wanna do some fish spa, where the fishes will help eat away your dead skin while you chill inside.Nice.


Some really funny pictures.





i like this one alot..HAHHAHAHAHA





LOL