selling my life

ok.


i am selling 2 years of my life away.

bored

been sick the whole day...came back from work and slept all the way man...i think i am tired from all the gathering and stuff..haha...and super duper broke..no money...i am really poor and i really mean it..i mean some ppl say they are poor when they can't spend the money..for me, i am poor because i don't have the money...



feeling really bored...haha..can't wait for sch to start...listening to all the old songs i posted on my blog..haha...nice...miss all these oldies...

koloas din come online..guess she is busy with her other half...the impression she gave me initially and now change so drastically...haha..


having headache over the scholarship thing...likely one year..heard i can choose from one or two year..either sign when i am year 3 and have a 2 year bond or sign when i am in year 4 and get a one year bond..mmm...feels like getting th money..then again..i don wanna hold one more year of my life there...seriously speaking..i don think i am a very engineering guy....hiaz..


been banging walls...hiaz


ok time to rest..

memories.

This is especially nice and meaningful

you can make me whole again.

you know you can.

thanksgiving.

this year is coming to an end really soon.i guess it is time for me to do a summary report of my life for the whole of this year and see what i achieve and of cos what i hope to do for the coming new year.


School
i guess this year is pretty ok for me.my cap for the last two sem jumped a totaly of 0.18! whch is quite alot...i mean maybe not as good as some but i am thankful for it!

i was also awarded Sembcorp scholarship.to some this might be chicken feed or something but i guess it is not.at least to me.i rem the dismay when i saw the list.it contain 30 plus ppl on the 1st page.and there is 2 pages.i mean my results aren't that outstanding.but i am really thankful that God made this way for me.the money came in real handy!

Glory to God.


Family

things are turning better.my sis got into smu...hopping to get scholarship.my elder sis got job offers one after another...my parents jus got their cpf payout..everything is turning better...i hope it will carry on this way. from glory to Glory.

Personal

learnt muay thai.hopefully can contiune to train next sem.understand myself in a much greater manner this year. guess there is still so much of me to improve.hope next year i can be a better person as a whole.


Friends
i love my Me design group! i mean we went thru alot but i hope the friendship will last. we still got one more sem to go! of cos not forgetting my nus united peeps! ken YT CH Lips siyin zoe jaydee cecilia jing leona...so much more..haha...appreciate u guys. someone said something which is really true.

" Friends are angels sent by God to make a difference in your life "


ok that is about it. the rest are more personal so i guess i will not elaborate.


how abt new year resolutions.


top 3.

1)Get attached to my future wife.
2)Love God even more.
3)achieving more.




=>




The sky is my limit!

results

results just came out and i am getting alot of sms and stuff from my design group.

actually i expected this to happen.spoke to a few other groups.they don really have the same problem. because they expected this.


i guess i got to be frank and say that we can't expect that everyone to get the same result. there is bound to be different grades..some better some worse...and before u say if someone really deserve his or her grades, look at the contribution he or her did to give us the grades we have now.

the best thing for us is to move on.if there is anything to blame, it is the system.because there is a min of 3 grades difference...and the grades are decided by the prof.



feeling abit upset by the way ppl respond to this. totally different before and after the results are being announced.hiaz.


will be appealing for one module.i believe i did well.just don know why the grade turn out this way.




point of no return.just let it go man.

alvin and the chipmunks

just came back from watching alvin and the chipmunks...i think i am falling sick..sneezing the moment i got home...haha..well i guess all the girls must go watch the show..the chipmunks are simply adorable...but personally i find the show really shallow...haha..i mean..we can't expect too much from such shows..but well maybe it is the age thingy..i like show with more depth..lol

tml it is back to work..hiaz...can't wait to get over and done with it...


unable to sleep for the last few nites...not really sure why...perhaps there is something at the back of my mind...

some things are like that..they hide behind your mind...once a while they will come out and haunt you...to illustrate..think abt your exam results.

hehe.point proven.



somehow this christmas is less joyous...perhaps it is that few things that are bothering me...oh ya.


happy boxing day!

christmas pics!

winter wonderland

time check : 9.24am

i just had my breakfast and i am feeling so awake!somehow i have been sleeping less and less..perhaps i am used to the 6hr sleeping time a day...i slept around 2 last night and i woke up at 6 and felt as if time passed so slowly...went into the kitchen and found my mom awoke too...thinking of some stuff....haha...went back to my bed and tried to sleep and then woke up at 8 plus...*shrug

perhaps i am becoming the night seeker


haha...today is christmas but everything felt normal..will be going over to my aunty house for family gathering...after which i shall decided where to go...feeling realy really broke already..spent quite alot yesterday...time to take note of what i spend.
in less than one and half month time CNY/birthday is coming..need to shop....well myabe not shop..i don noe if it is because i am approaching mid 20, i have less desire to dress and look nice...i don even bother to style my hair..perhaps it is a good thing.


right now i am listening to yahoo music , giving me the festive feeling..haha..


ok.DVD next.

Christmas!

phew i jus reached home!haha...


well today is really a packed day...went to work in the morning after which i went out with sherlene and ethel to catch "i am legend". it is really those typical zombie shows...but story isn't that nice...if anything is worth it, it is the acting of will smith...he is way cool in the show...haha...


got a few presse today..thanks for all those who gave..i really appreciate it..


anyway..after movie and dinner, i went to meet magan to go down for service and man we had fun..ahah...pictures will be posted later...and qizhi did a sketch for me...it is a funny picture of me..will be posting it later too...eheh...everything is on magan camera...hahah..



so what do i want for christmas?

seriously,the same old wish i had...

to move into the next phase of my life. =)




anyway she will be coming back today..think she jus touched down or something..and eveyrone is like reminding me she is back. i guess she already made everything clear long ago and everything is over between us.apppreciate everyone's kind thoughts but well...as i said, she made it clear already.




ok..to the bathroom...and maybe post some picture or something

and to everyone...


merry christmas!

the meaning of Christmas eve

today is the eve of the christmas eve.

this year's christmas is abit different for me...everything seems more quiet...less of the season mood...perhaps i stayed home most of the time...don really get the christmas mood....jus finished watching "christmas with the grumps" or something like that...about this man who wanted to save money and the hassle of preparing for christmas...he then forgo the yearly christmas eve party with his whole neighbourhood...and send letters to his colleagues that he doesn't want any pressie and he will not give any pressie to them too...he also forgo an amount of money he pledge every year...and to cut the long story short...a serie of events eventually leading to him celebrating and eventually understanding the meaning of christmas...


christmas is really one of the most celebrated holiday in singapore...everywhere u go now is blasting all the christmas songs...everywhere is green and red and white..haha...in my opinion i feel that the whole town is the most decorated at this moment..more than chinese new year or any other holiday...christmas is like for everyone...



right now i am listening to yahoo music...the free radio channel that blast traditional christmas songs...whooo...nice songs...right now it is playing white christmas....simply love these songs.



so what are plans for the next two days? work i guess...


christmas seems to have become jus another day for shopping.

boyzone+son by four+MLTR+Damage+westlife

today work was really boring..until dewi came down with a boyzone Cd and started playing..


memories start to flood back...u noe when u are still in sec and jc..and u sang all these songs to your love one..haha..i think i am pretty emo type...haha...i like to be romantic and once in a while make my special one feels like she is blessed...so presenting here is the TOP 5 love songs of all times by boybands.

gee.























this song is really for me...now..



haha...TOP 12...hard to choose.




finally woke up after a long nightmare...perhaps a self deceiving dream.. suddenly i feel awake...and i am not going to fall into it anymore.

corrinne may

it was one sat night i think..


i came back feeling really drained..from serving and sch...all the projects and overnite stays..i mean i could just puke...


then a friend of mine gina...send me this song...which jus make me wept in the presence of the Lord...nice nice song...

and this is how i was formally introduced to Corrinne may and her songs...




nice.


anyway my malaysia trip for tml is cancelled...hiaz...so last min..hiaz...i pushed...everything to mon...but i guess i can make good use of it...haha..


who wanna go out with me tml????????????

shopping+basketball+soccer

went out with weixiang today for christmas shopping...we will be ahving tons of house party and dinner to go too....more like gatherings...he told me something that really shocked me...and well kinda of turn me off from going for them...apparently everyone in the household are worried why in the world a guy that is approaching mid 20s is still not attached...they are worried i am GAY!.


OMG...i almost fainted.


so i guess i am going to wear a PINK shirt with kitten sleeves for the coming christmas gathering to shock them.those really really tight one...lol


on a side note....my love life suck pretty much...what to do...and the funny thing is ppl keep coming to ask me advice online...right now..i got 2 ppl asking me what to do for their love life...as if i am Mr Hitch...LOl...i am more than happy to help them..but i guess personally i need help.




anyway..

after shopping we decided to meet up with some friends to play basketball...then we play until so bored then they ask some malay kids to play street soccer with us.


the thing is i SUCK at soccer..big time.

when the ball rolled to me for the first time, i stepped on it.


then i fell back and hit my head.


dumb huh..

what is the dumbest thing?

it happened 3 times.



i think i should practise harder.





i guess things are already decided...there is no way..not a single percent of chance that it will turn around.but the thing is....



i haven't been able to turn around too..not matter how hard i tried...:/

scholarship

i am so happy...PTL...Glory to GOD....i got my scholarship...still deciding..but likely i will sign...hahaha


this is an extract of the letter..

19 December 2007



Dear Titus,

RE: SEMBCORP MARINE SCHOLARSHIP 2007

1. Congratulations! I am pleased to inform you that you have been offered the SembCorp Marine Scholarship with bond by SEMBAWANG SHIPYARD PTE LTD.

2. The award is subject to the following condition: You must be certified fit by a Medical
Authority nominated by SEMBAWANG SHIPYARD PTE LTD.

3. The value of the scholarship is S$10,000 per annum for every 1-year service bond with the shipyard upon graduation and National Service (if applicable), and you have to sign a Scholarship Deed with two sureties. Details are as follows:-

(a) allowance of S$10,000 per annum; and
(b) the above award shall be granted for each year of study provided that the annual academic performance/conduct of the Scholar are up to the expectations of the Company.


omg i was so happy when i see this! i mean thinking back i din really impressed them that much..it is so unbelievable..thank God for his grace...ooo...ya...anyone interested to watch a christmas drama together?




let me know ok? let soak up to the christmas spirit...hehehe.

tired

i think i am falling sick..



3 indications

1)ur mouth stinks for no reason...even when u brush ur teeth and eat plenty of mint.
2)u felt as if u run 10km every morning u wake up...even thought u slept for 10hrs.
3)u eat like a girl on diet.



time to detox...


drink more water...eat more apples...and sleep more!


i almost forgot...if u are the girl/guy who keep smsing me nothing in the middle of the night and calling me and not saying a word...u better stop it now!!!!!!!!i swore i will write ur number on every toilet i know before changing my number!

outing

came back from a catch up with shuqun...it has been a long time since we meet up and chit chat...haha..rem last yr when i was still in yr 2 and she in yr 1, we alway meet every thur to have breakfast at sch mac...haha...how time flies....we chit chatted like before..talking abt anything under the sun..lol..she is still the same as ever...cheery and smiley...but somehow..i can feel there is something bothering her...i guess i am right...hope she can get over it...conquer your fear!



on a side note...i am starting to dislike my kiddish look...today 2 ppl told me that i don look 23 at all...more like 20...initially i thought it is the clothes i wear..so i started to wear more polo tee...keep a goatie to look more fierce and mature..but somehow it doesn't seems to work! i hate being treated like i am 20...because ppl simply don believe or take seriously what i say...i think i will take more extreme measure...hmmp!




i feel tired...must be the thousand plus folder i carry every day...hiaz..



sometime i wonder why i still go and take a look at your blog

The Keirsey Temperament Sorter-II

went to take the Keirsey temperament sorter test...i realised i am ENFJ which means i am more of an idealist.Here is what they say,

warm , empathetic, responsive and responisble.highly attuned to the emotions , needs and motivations of others. find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential. may act as catalysts for individual and group growth. loyal , responsive to praise and criticism. sociable , facilitate others in a group and provide inspiring leadership.

mmm...i guess it is more or less the same.here is the indepth analysis..interesting..very interesting

All Idealists (NFs) share the following core characteristics:

Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.
Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.
Idealists tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused on personal journeys and human potentials.
Idealists make intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirational leaders.

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.
Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.
Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

and some more...

Idealist Portrait of the Teacher (ENFJ)


Even more than the other Idealists, Teachers have a natural talent for leading students or trainees toward learning, or as Idealists like to think of it, they are capable of calling forth each learner's potentials. Teachers (around two percent of the population) are able - effortlessly, it seems, and almost endlessly-to dream up fascinating learning activities for their students to engage in. In some Teachers, this ability to fire the imagination can amount to a kind of genius which other types find hard to emulate. But perhaps their greatest strength lies in their belief in their students. Teachers look for the best in their students, and communicate clearly that each one has untold potential, and this confidence can inspire their students to grow and develop more than they ever thought possible.In whatever field they choose, Teachers consider people their highest priority, and they instinctively communicate personal concern and a willingness to become involved. Warmly outgoing, and perhaps the most expressive of all the types, Teachers are remarkably good with language, especially when communicating in speech, face to face. And they do not hesitate to speak out and let their feelings be known. Bubbling with enthusiasm, Teachers will voice their passions with dramatic flourish, and can, with practice, become charismatic public speakers. This verbal ability gives Teachers a good deal of influence in groups, and they are often asked to take a leadership role.

Teachers like things settled and organized, and will schedule their work hours and social engagements well ahead of time-and they are absolutely trustworthy in honoring these commitments. Valuing as they do interpersonal cooperation and harmonious relations, Teachers are extraordinarily tolerant of others, are easy to get along with, and are usually popular wherever they are.

Teachers are highly sensitive to others, which is to say their intuition tends to be well developed. Certainly their insight into themselves and others is unparalleled. Without a doubt, they know what is going on inside themselves, and they can read other people with uncanny accuracy. Teachers also identify with others quite easily, and will actually find themselves picking up the characteristics, emotions, and beliefs of those around them. Because they slip almost unconsciously into other people's skin in this way, Teachers feel closely connected with those around them, and thus show a sincere interest in the joys and problems of their employees, colleagues, students, clients, and loved ones.



public speaker?LOL...i can't even type proper england...hahah....but i guess this say the potential that is in me....but those in bold does speak of me!


as every idealist will say....


the best in me has yet to come!

interview

i jus came back from my Sembcorp marine interview....i guess i din do that well. i mean i was shocked. the first thing i see when i went in was 5 women...5!!!i was expecting to see some old man so i can know their role...u noe identify their HRM, their operation side etc...so as to answer their questions more to their liking...

and there is this lady who sat at the right most corner..out of my view of the other 4...who kept looking at me...i guess she must be there to observe my behaviour...i guess i was pretty calm...i sat with my hands in front of me...smiling and looking right into their eyes...answering the questions i best know how...i think i din do what i wanted to do...you know you did that when u leave them with a spark in their eyes....somehow from experience , i think i din do that well..but i guess...there is alway another chance...i hope....haha...

welll..back to slacking.

to you know who you are

you suck...whatever happened to u?? take a look at yourself in the mirror...where is the you i used to see? now i only see layers of masks to cover whatever you want to cover.

work+personal

today when i went shower...i was amazed


i look in better shape then in months....why?

because i am back at work at SNEC(singapore national eye centre), where it is a female working environment.my job is to SHIFT THOUSANDS of files down to another compartment to house them.and what is the best thing? i am doing ALONE! solo kia...rambo...one person carry all the files...

now that muay thai class is CANCELLED due to poor attendances(i totally regret not joing ivp esp when my sparring partner said that the standard are low and i confirm get it), i could jus bank on this to keep me in shape.hiaz..



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


i am totaly lost.for those who know keep me in prayers.for those who don't keep me in prayers too. :<


i am scared that things will be the same as before.

LORD WE NEED YOUR GRACE AND MERCY
WE NEED TO PRAY LIKE NEVER BEFORE
WE NEED THE POWER OF YOUR HOLY SPIRIT
TO OPEN HEAVEN'S DOOR

SPIRIT TOUCH YOUR CHURCH
STIR THE HEARTS OF MEN
REVIVE US LORD
WITH YOUR PASSION ONCE AGAIN
I WANT TO CARE FOR OTHERS
LIKE JESUS CARES FOR ME
LET YOUR RAIN FALL UPON ME
LET YOUR RAIN FALL UPON ME

LORD WE HUMBLY COME BEFORE YOU
WE DON'T DESERVE OF YOU WHAT WE ASK
BUT WE YEARN TO SEE YOUR GLORY
RESTORE THIS DYING LAND


lord teach me your ways...show me the next step.i am lost.

lost

i am lost once again...totally.

my cousin's new hamster

彩虹

哪里有彩虹告诉我　能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静　所有的云都跑到我这里

有没有口罩一个给我　释怀说了太多就成真不了
　也许时间是一种解药　也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着　你的身影这么近我却抱不到
　没有地球　太阳还是会绕　没有理由　我也能自己走

你要离开　我知道很简单　你说依赖　是我们的阻碍
　就算放开　但能不能别没收我的爱　当作我最后才明白



(Rap)
看不见你的笑　要我怎么睡的着　你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕会绕　没有理由我也能自己走掉
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药解药　也是我现在正服下的毒药



what a sad song...but totally describe how i feel...for a moment...the whole world have caved in and things seem alittle dim...perhaps it is time to start everything a fresh...live life from a new perspective...




蒲公英的約定



学篱笆旁的蒲公英

是记忆里有味道的风景

午睡操场传来蝉的声音

多少年后也开始很好听

将愿望... (more)
Added: November 01, 2007
蒲公英的約定

学篱笆旁的蒲公英
是记忆里有味道的风景
午睡操场传来蝉的声音
多少年后也开始很好听
将愿望折纸飞机寄成信
因为我们等不到那流星
认真投决定命运的硬币
却不知道到底能去哪里

一起长大的约定
那样清晰
拉过勾的我相信
说好要一起履行
是你如今
唯一坚持的任性

在走廊上罚站打手心
我们却注意窗边的蜻蜓
我去的哪里你都刻痕迹
很多的梦在等待齿清洗

一起长大的约定
那样清晰
拉过勾的我相信
说好要一起履行
是你如今
唯一坚持的任性

一起长大的约定
那样清晰
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情
还是错过的爱情



how i wish i can end everything now. right now.

morning stars

i am unworthy.

Alvin and the chipmunks!

who want watch together ?!

handsome hamster

ramon dekker...one of my favourite fighter...he NEVER reject a fight..even if he has a broken arm or fight a oversize opponent, or even have to fight under unfair rules...it is not his character to refuse...



next up is buakaw from thailand...in my opinion he is the one of the most beautiful fighter...beautiful as in he make the moves look nice and yet deadly...unlike ramon...who fight like a bull..buakaw fights like a dancer...not to mention his perfect abs...

time to hit the weighs and pump the blood to my brain!

first post

Thanks for gracing this blog.

will be posting really interesting stuff.

keep a close watch.



It is not how you start the race, but how you finish it that matters.